Thoughts And Feelings

It has happened to us countless times. We think a particular thought, and we experience a specific feeling. Because of this, we believe our feelings are caused by our thoughts.

Because of that, when we dislike how we feel, we try to change our thoughts. We may try to think positively. Does it work? Research suggests it can backfire.

There is no such thing as a one-sided coin. For there to be heads, there must be tails. Similarly, we can’t think about success without an unavoidable awareness of the flip side: failure.

When trying to think positively, both positive and negative codes are present. The amygdala reads both. The result is - not just positive feelings - but mixed emotion.

The limits of positive thinking can lead us to a different approach. One approach is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Sometimes I wish I had never promoted the use of the 5-4-3-2-1 method. When using it, you focus on trivial things. Although it keeps your attention away from problems, the 5-4-3-2-1 doesn’t actually solve the issue. It’s better to improve your ability to calm yourself so that when a troubling thought or other upsetting ideas come to mind, you can stay emotionally balanced. Troubling thoughts can also be dealt with by re-coding it to positive.

But instead of doing the work (increasing their ability to self-calm or by re-coding the troubling thought), too many clients opt for a quick fix. They go for the 5-4-3-2-1. Wouldn’t it be better - instead of just for getting by - to achieve some personal growth? And wouldn’t it be better to get a handle on anticipatory anxiety through re-coding? After all, you can’t do the 5-4-3-2-1 for 24/7 every day before your flight.

But I’m getting away from the point. The point is this: thoughts do not cause our feelings. Code, assigned to our thoughts, causes what we feel.

So what? Does it matter? It can. In some cases, you can change your thinking and still feel the same. For example, when you learn about aviation, you shift from thinking that flying is dangerous to thinking it is safe. But even after doing that, you can still feel uncomfortable on the plane if the codes are still negative.

I’ve been looking for a way to explain how code causes what we feel. Yesterday I was at the supermarket. It was busy. I had only two items, so I went to self-checkout. The supermarket has eight self-checkout stations. But even so, every machine was in use.

I started watching people use the machines. As they ran their items by the scanner, they were all doing the same thing. They were picking up an item from their shopping cart, running it by the scanner, and putting it aside for bagging.

Suddenly, it hit me. That’s the answer. It explains how code, not thoughts, causes feelings. As a shopper removes an item from their cart and scans it, what they are thinking has no effect on the scanner or the price they pay. The same applies to your upcoming flight. Whether you hope and think positively or dread and think negatively, what the plane does during the flight will be the same. A better thought it, “I’m going to prepare. I’m going to do the strengthening exercise and change the codes I expect to encounter on the flight.”

Now that research has made it clear that code causes feelings, we can change how you feel when you fly it by changing the codes currently assigned to flying from negative to positive.

Our friends send us codes that calm us. That’s why they are our friends. We attach the codes they send you to flying. Then, your emotional response to flying is, “This is like hanging out with my friend.”

Is this cheating? Maybe. But so what? If you want to fly and to feel OK when you fly, let’s just hack the system, Overwrite the existing negative code with positive code borrowed from your friends.